Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Rollin' On!

This last week has caused me to reflect a little more on the meaning and purpose of me and my place. We celebrated Mother's Day last week and I am so proud to have the privilege to be a mother. And at the same time, feel like I don't measure up to the expectations and demands placed on me. I had a wonderful role model growing up and can now see the multitude of sacrifices my mother made for me and my family. True love was shown through example. She was a wonderful example and continues to be. I love my mom!
So what is a mother to be....a person who unconditionally loves! My purpose is to love, not only my children, but others as well. I can only hope to open my heart and mind and help my children learn the importance of acceptance of others and how to be kind.

Other news this past week, Mason completed his first year of preschool and had his graduation program. He loved singing and reciting things that he had learned. He already misses not going to class. He is turning into such a boy and less of my cute little, rounded belly toddler. His speech has improved tremendously and he loves his stuffed animals.

Madilynne is nearing the end of her kindergarten year. She has loved school and excelled in her reading. She loves to role play and is a social bug. She is ecstatic to start swim lessons. And thrilled to celebrate her birthday with a bunch of girls and getting her ears pierced.

Mitchell is really looking forward to summer and having a break from school. He has had a roller coaster of a year, but overall is doing well. We just recently got results back from his psychologist and he has been diagnosed with Austism, Attention Deficit Disorder, Mild Depression, and a learning disability. Is IQ is 140! I never doubted he is a brilliant little boy, but the psychologist stressed over and over again how intelligent he is.

So where do we go from here? Forward, ever forward. Mitchell is a brilliant kid and I love that most about him. I see changes and progress in him on a daily basis. He is trying to connect to a world that doesn't quite understand him or how he thinks. I hope to help him adapt and learn how to function in a different world. I love his genuine curiosity and honesty in everyday life. He makes me reflect a lot in my life and for that I am grateful. I want him to be happy and treated kindly. I want people to see his potential and help foster his inquisitive mind. I hope we can help treat his mood and help him feel happiness more. I want him to succeed and be happy. I hope that isn't too much.

Paul is busy with work and more training. He has headed to St. George for more tracker training and outdoor surveillance. He is loving it and it is great to see him actively engaged and passionate about his job.

School started on Monday for me....and its going. I am still trying to feel my way back in. After nine years outside of the classroom I am struggling a bit. But Paul gave me a nice blessing to help calm my troubled soul and find balance in my life. He is my rock and best friend. I love him for that.

So today is a new day, after I take a nap. I have worked all night and need to rest my eyes for a few. I pray for the strength to accomplish all the tasks today and help my children know that they are loved and valued!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Count Down!

The count down has begun! One week and three days, until Mommy, me, is back in school. I feel the anxiety starting to calm and the pieces are falling into place better. Paul is very supportive and my parents have my back 100%. I had a sit down talk with Mitchell this last week about the changes that are coming and he seems to understand and hopefully will cope well.

With this new adventure being added into our already busy life I have found that one of my biggest struggles has been accepting the change that I have chosen. I discovered that with most of the bumps in the road of my life I tend to move forward. That is just the direction I have to take. I have to take what I have been given and move forward in the best way possible. But this change has been the hardest, by far. I made the choice. It wasn't forced upon me, I chose to make this change. I also didn't realize the major amount of changes this one choice would create for me and my family.

I now am facing a job change, switching my schedule, not seeing my friends from work as frequently, and juggling the kids more. It is weird I have to let go of Labor and Delivery in order to become a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner and Nurse Midwife. I have to change my position of leadership and comfort to become a learner again. Shifting my role to student, instead of teacher is exciting and humbling. I just pray everything will go well.

Paul has been so busy, gearing up for marijuana eradication in Southern Utah. And the kids are winding down the school year. Mitchell is finishing up third grade. I can't believe how quickly he is growing and changing. He stands at my shoulder right now, at the age of nine. I'm sure he will be my height by the time he is 12 or 13. I better keep stocking my pantry!

Madi is a social light. She needs to be in contact with someone at all times or have a planned play date waiting in the wings. She makes me laugh the amount of times a day she needs to change her outfit and do something different with her hair.

Mason is getting ready to finish his first year of preschool, and by far, my most easy going kid. He loves to hold small toys in his hands and is a cuddle bug to stuffed animals. He loves to be sung to every night. "The Lamanites Mom, the Lamanite song." he says every night! Ah, the simplicity of life! I love that my kids remind me of the simple things every day!

As a family, we are hoping to visit Mickey Mouse again this year over Thanksgiving. We will have to see what the finances hold in trying to budget for me going to Graduate school and the bare needs of clothes and food. But, Paul has a training opportunity there right before Thanksgiving and it would be a great opportunity for family time too. Let's hope he gets approved for the training.