Thursday, August 30, 2012

Insanity

It is amazing how time flies. I can't believe it has been so long since I wrote anything. Our family had a fast paced summer. The family got to spend a lot of time at Lagoon and Lagoon-a-beach with the season passes that were given to us in by Grandpa and Nana McNeely. They have been well used and we had a blast. We also were able to go to the sand dunes once. It was a hot weekend, but nice to get away. The kids enjoyed swim lessons and any water they could find. Popsicles were eaten by the dozens. We visited the library every week. We had a fun filled trip to Bear Lake. That trip alone made for some unforgettable memories. Heather started graduate school and spent most of her nights up late studying, doing homework, and taking tests. She is still working full time at the University Hospital and sleeps a little during daytime hours. We survived the summer without any major accidents, those we saved up until school started.

The only way to explain this week is a crazy whirl-wind. Some might call it a tornado, but no one died, so I scaled it back. To start off, I started graduate school last week to get a doctoral degree as a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner and a Certified Nurse Midwife. It has been a goal to be an advanced practitioner for a long time and I can't believe I am finally making it happen. I have had many late nights and little sleep. I am sure it is just the beginning of more to come. I have had to let go of the house a little. That is so hard to do. I really struggle not having everything in its place. The laundry also takes longer to find its way back into the drawers of dressers and closets. It has come accustom to the couch. I am making baby steps with little projects to help my house be more organized; however, it may never be back to my previous standard until I am out of school.

I knew going into this program it would be hard. I have prepared myself for this for a long time. I don't think my family realized the sacrafices that it would entail. The amount of time in a day has been drastically shortened. I am still working full time at the hospital on Labor and Delivery. I am still work the graveyard shift so the kids don't seem to know that I am gone as often. But, it is taking a toll on my body and strength. I feel pulled tightly, in a multitude of directions and am just trying to find balance. The mommy role doesn't go away during the day, so I am often doing homework, readings, quizes, and an array of other tasks for school at night, after 9pm. I hope I will be able to cut back my hours at work soon and be able to have time to decrompress, or at least breath at the end of the night.

On the lighter side, I have met a very diverse group of women who are in my cohort. I really hope to get to know all of the better and be enlightened in their life's journey. I hope to gain new friendships and life long colleages through this short journey.

Now on to the chaos of the Scott household. Mitchell and Madilynne started school last Tuesday. Mitchell is now in 4th grade and Madilynne is in 1st grade. The first day of school, Madi saw a friend from last year, let go of my hand, and caught up with her friend, held hands, and they skipped down the hall together. She didn't even look back. My heart sunk a little....my little girl. She is growing faster than I am able to realize sometimes. I perked up, looked down at Mason still holding on to my hand and smiled. I had at least one of them holding my hand to keep me strong. It's not that I was going to miss her holding my hand, I just felt a sense of ackwardness. What was I supposed to do, just let go? She is only six. She still has so much to learn and grow. I want to walk with her every step along the way. But children don't only learn from the parents, they also learn from their school teachers, their friends, and through life's experiences.

Mitchell's first week of class of was bumpy, but to be expected. He has a difficult time with change and adapting to a new environment and routine. Overall, he has done okay. No violent outbursts were noted. He hasn't been to the office and the school is working on helping to intervene with his behavior before he peaks with frustration.

I really am getting closer to the chaos. So, the first week of school, a little excitement and thrill. Now on to week number two. Sunday night, I worked a graveyard shift and came home and slept. I only could sleep until about 1 pm and I got up and straightened up the house a bit and then went for a jog with the dog. I picked up Mason for my neighbors house and we were off to pick up carpool by 2:30 pm. When I pulled up in the carpool lane, Madilynne was teary. She climbed into the carpool and told me she hurt her arm falling off the monkey bars. She was guarding her arm and I didn't get a good look at it until after I dropped off the other kids at home from carpool. Her left arm was misshapen. I didn't want to alarm her, or the other kids, particularly Mitchell. I told Madilynne we needed to go get a picture of her arm and make sure she was okay. She broke down crying at the news of needing a picture. She wailed that she did not want to have surgery.

I tried to calm the crying six year old with an ice cream cone. Everyone in the car got an ice cream. We waited at the instacare to be seen for almost and hour before we even got an x-ray. While waiting, Madi watched her ice cream melt. She had not appetite for an ice cream. Odd. Then she proceeded to take a 45 minute nap in my arms. She was exhausted. We were finally seen by the doctor, almost 2 hours after arriving and were informed that Madi had broken her radius and ulna in her left arm. They were green stick fractures and she would need to be splinted with a sling, and then be seen by an orthopaedic next week. Oh joy! She was such a tough little girl. The nurses splinted her arm and a sling was placed around her. And we were off to make dinner, get Mitchell dressed for Kenpo, and get me a shower before heading off to work another 12 hour night shift.

I worked an extremely busy shift that night. No rest for the weary. I started out the shift as the charge nurse and had 25 week stop-and-drop twins come through the door with every room full. The night never slowed down. I felt like the whirl wind of the day continued long into the night and the next morning.

Madi awoken during the night in pain and Paul gave her pain medication, anti-inflammatories, and ice through out the night. I came home and got into bed around 930 and was awoken to the lawn being mowed at 1pm. I couldn't go back to sleep and had things to do. Homework, housework, exercise, a special meeting at the school with Mitchell's teacher, carpool, kid's homework, dinner, and the list goes on. I did all the duties of being mom and playing taxi. We even had a fairly good dinner. I then stayed up until 1 am doing homework and studying. Yeah, for late nights of insanity!

Wednesday came quickly, too quickly. Kids were gotten up and readied for school. Mason was a trooper to allow me to work on homework for a part of the morning. I had one afternoon class and rode the trax train for my first time to the University. It was a bit overwhelming to ride the train. I feel very unfamilar with public transportation but was just trying to find more time to work on studying. I made it to and from the University without a hiccup. When Madi came home from school she was whiny and complaining her elbow hurt. I was concerned the splint was not on right, or that she didn't have enough padding. Then she started to cry. I was even more concerned and we took her back to the instacare for them to adjust her splint. They placed more padding and she said it felt better.

Here we are on Thursday and I overslept. I might have turned off the alarm. JUMP! Everyone up and out the door in 17 minutes. It must be a new world record, at least at our house. I worked more on school and preparing for class. Did a little yard work, watered the garden and pulled a few weeds. What an overgrown jungle I have in my back yard. Not just the weeds, but the garden is screaming to be harvested. Does that mean I need to make salsas and spagetti sauce this weekend? I guess we will squeeze it in. I had an afternoon class and rode the train to and from. I had much less anxiety and was very productive in reading while riding. I don't recommend doing that while being the driver. Anyway, home again, for a peaceful night with the family at home. I thought we might harvest the garden and relax. WRONG! Mitchell was complaining his head hurt, he had a sore throat, and felt dizzy. Fever, check, 101. Okay, maybe we could wait it out til tomorrow and see if he feels better tomorrow. Then Madi was having problems with her splint again and crying even more that her elbow hurt. I gathered the two oldest kids and decided to kill two birds with one stone. Double doctor's visit and off we went.

Back to the instacare for another adjustment. Nope. Not another adjustment, we found what appears to be a pressure sore or allergic reaction to the splint on her inner elbow. Of course there was! Why would it go as planned. The disturbed skin had to be doctored up and a completely new splint had to be made to better accomodate her size. Home sweet home. It's passed bed time and no homework done yet. Everyone in jammies and off to bed.

I needed to decompress a little and thought a little journaling would put my mind at ease. I have to focus on the great things of this week! I have three breathing children that I love. I have spouse who is trying to help me as much as he can. (He even did the dishes tonight, brownie points!) Madi didn't get more hurt than a broken arm. Mitchell's doesn't have strep right now and his fever will break, eventually. I got to know a few of the women from my cohort this week and learn more about their families and the roles they currently assume in their own lives. I am grateful for my kids, my job, my husband, and my opportunity to go to school. I am blessed in so many ways and will continue to put one foot in front of the other. With Christ watching over me, or walking beside me, I can continue forward, ever forward. 

1 comment:

Erin said...

You're one tough woman! Not sure how your still standing at then end of your crazy days:) Hope your kiddos get feeling better!